Jeff Foxworthy (Redneck Comedian)
- Happy- Eat some hay, lay by the bay...
- Shooter- I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
Happy- You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?!
- Happy- (To golf ball) Why don't you just go home? That's
- Happy- Yeah ok I'll see you there...
- You hit that guy!
Happy- Well he shouldn't have been standing there!
- Happy- That is MY puck, baby! Don't you ever touch my puck!
- Happy- Just tap it in, just tap it in, give it a little
- Happy- The price is wrong, bitch!
- Happy- I'm stupid, you're smart, I was wrong, you were
- Happy- See if you can out-drive the amazing golf-ball wacker
- Happy- Hey, if I saw myself in clothes like those I'd have
to kick my own ass.
- Happy- (to caddy) Where were ya on that one, dipshit?
- Happy- Good, then get the hell outta my life, who needs
you, beat it, leave me alone!
- Happy- You're gonna die, clown!!!
- Man- It's about time.
Happy- Yeah it is about time, I just couldn't get the ball in the hole...
- Potter (psycho guy)- Harness energy, block bad.
- Potter- Feel the flow, Happy...
- Potter- Doing the bulldance. Working it, working it...
- Nursinghome Man- Now you will go to sleep, or I will put you
- Nursinghome Man- Good news, we're extending arts &
crafts time 4 hours today!
- Happy's cursing is censored...
- Ferris- Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight, that...
- Cameron- Pardon my French, but you're an asshole!
- Ferris- Bueller. Ferris Bueller.
- Druggie- There's someone you should talk to.
Shawna- If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle.
Druggie- Oh, you know him?
- Ferris- I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that
for being born under a bad sign?
- Ferris- Incredible. One of the worst performances of my
career and they never doubted it for a second.
- Ferris- When you're bent over, moaning & wailing, you
lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.
- Ferris- I do have a test today... it's on European
socialism, I mean really, what's the point?...
- Ferris- This is where Cameron goes berserk...
- Cameron- Hey batter batter batter batter swing batter....
- Cameron- When Cameron was in Egypt's land, let my Cameron
- Cameron- The 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California... my father
spent 3 years restoring this car...
Ferris- It's his fault he didn't lock the garage.
- Teacher (Ben Stein)- Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?
Girl- Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend....
- Secretary- The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts... they
all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.
- Waiter- I appreciate your undrestanding.
Ferris- Don't think twice. It's understanding that makes it possible for people like us to
tolerate a person like yourself.
- Ferris- Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around
once in a while, you could miss it.
- Ferris Bueller- You're still here? It's over. Go home. Go.
The Wedding Singer
- Robbie- Sir, one more outburst and I will strangle you with
my microphone wire.
- Man- Hey buddy I'm not paying you to hear your
thoughts on life, I'm paying you to sing.
Robbie- Well I have the microphone, and you don't. So you will listen to every damn word I
have to say!
- Robbie- Gulia. Julia's last name's gonna be Gulia. Julia
Gulia, that's funny.
Glen- Why is that funny?
Robbie- I don't know.
- Petey- Hey Linda, you're a bitch!
Robbie- Thanks Petey, go back in the house. He might have Tourette's syndrome, we're
looking into it.
- Robbie- You know it's funny, some of us will never ever find
true love. Like take for instance, me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that
lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.
- Robbie- Once again, things that could have been brought
to my attention YESTERDAY!
- Egon- When someone asks you if you're a god, say YES!
- Peter- Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear
accelerator on his back.
- Egon- There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Don't cross the streams.
Egon- It would be bad...
- Dana- That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in
Peter- What a crime.
- Ray- It can't be! It can't be!
Peter- What did you do, Ray!
- Ray- I think we'd better split up.
Peter- Yeah, we can do more damage that way.
- Peter- Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things
- Janine- Do you have any hobbies?
Egon- I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
- Peter- Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
- Ray- Good evening. As a duly designated representative of
the city, county, and state of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural
activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient
Peter- That oughta do it, thanks very much Ray.
Monty Python & the Holy Grail
The Princess Bride
- Westley- As you wish.
- Inigo- Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my
father. Prepare to die.
- Westley- There's something I ought to tell you. I'm not
- Buttercup- But the Dread Pirate Roberts never takes
Westley- I can't afford to make exceptions...
Buttercup- You mock my pain!
Westley- Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
- Miracle Max- True love is the greatest thing in the world,
except for a nice MLT
- Miracle Max- Have fun storming the castle!
- Miracle Max- Beat it, or I'll call the brute squad!
Fezzik- I'm on the brute squad.
Miracle Max- You are the brute squad!
- Fezzik- You don't look so good... you don't smell so good
- Inigo and Fezzik speak in rhymes.
- Vizzini- Ha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the
classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only
slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the
line! Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha- (falls dead)
- Vizzini- Inconceivable!
Inigo- You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
- Humperdinck- Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you
work. But I've got my country's five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange,
my wife to murder, and Gilda to frame for it. I'm swamped.
- Priest- Then wuv, twue wuv, will fowwow you fowever....
- Westley- There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this
world. It would be a pity to damage yours.
- Westley- I'll explain. And I'll use small words so you'll
be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.
- Fezzik explains how he got some horses.
© 2000 SNL1344@aol.com