The Female Stages of Life
| AGE | DRINK |
| 17 | wine coolers |
| 25 | white wine |
| 35 | red wine |
| 48 | Dom Perignon |
| 66 | shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser |
| EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES | |
| 17 | ”Need to wash my hair.” |
| 25 | ”Need to wash & condition my hair.” |
| 35 | "Need to color my hair." |
| 48 | "Need to have Francois color my hair." |
| 66 | "Need to have Francois color my wig." |
| FAVORITE SPORT | |
| 17 | shopping |
| 25 | shopping |
| 35 | shopping |
| 48 | shopping |
| 66 | shopping |
| DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE | |
| 17 | Burger King |
| 25 | Free meal |
| 35 | A diamond |
| 48 | A bigger diamond |
| 66 | Home Alone |
| FAVORITE FANTASY | |
| 17 | tall, dark, and handsome |
| 25 | tall, dark, and handsome with money |
| 35 | tall, dark, and handsome with money and a brain |
| 48 | A man with hair |
| 66 | A man |
| THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED | |
| 17 | 17 |
| 25 | 25 |
| 35 | 35 |
| 48 | 48 |
| 66 | 66 |
| IDEAL DATE | |
| 17 | He offers to pay |
| 25 | He pays |
| 35 | He cooks breakfast the next morning |
| 48 | He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids |
| 66 | He can chew breakfast |